Been down so long, it looks like up to me.

I’ve decided to skip the newsy stuff for this edition of the journal-blog. I’m so depressed today that I’ve got to vent or I’m just going to bust.

From my own experience, I’ve long known my Message that neither the universe nor the Earth were created for the benefit of Homo sapiens is going to be a hard sell. It’s in our natures to believe exactly the opposite. It’s probably in the nature of every living creature.

No theoretical construct or abstract knowledge, such as the planet’s actual nondescript place in the physical universe, is going to change that. Because of how we perceive it, my universe will always be centered squarely on me, and, I presume, yours on you.

Cities are monuments to our cult of humanicity. New York is the largest, and therefore the worst, I’ve ever seen. Its skyscrapers cover the entire island of Manhattan and every portion of the Earth for scores, if not hundreds, of miles around is completely dominated by, if not the actual construct of, human hands. It makes the trashing of that lovely meadow our forefathers thought of when they heard the word “prairie” seem like a walk in the fresh night air. How anyone living, and especially having been raised, in a city will ever be able to imagine that the universe is not entirely about people is beyond me.

And yet they must.

That, more than anything else, seems clearly to be a prerequisite for our responding to what is happening to Gaia. But most of us are totally unaware of the fact that we even harbor this bias, let alone of how deeply.

One of my best insights of this trip (so far) is that another of the many ways people are exactly to Gaia as cancer is to the whole body is this: like cancer cells, we are so embedded in our own growth that we cannot see beyond the tumor. If I can’t find a way of shining a light on Gaia in the form of nature lying beyond the tumors, which is what cities are, I have no chance of changing how people behave, or what their goals will be.

The most obvious thing about how we live is that we do so as if it were entirely about us. Not always about us individually, although usually, but certainly always about us collectively. I don’t even know if I want to change that, for it is clearly almost a defining characteristic of self-awareness, but I certainly do want us to recognize and acknowledge it. Nor is this a trait merely of city dwellers. It’s a part of all our psyches.

And here I am, right in the middle of the growth that the east coast has so long been. It truly is depressing. And I fear so much of my life now will have to be devoted to it. I really hate this Vision.

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