Being so logical can definitely drive you crazy

The other night I got philosophical, so watch out; he’s worse than usual.

It started with my asking myself, “What the hell am I doing?” Worse, yet: “Why the hell am I doing it?” I’m on some kind of Mission to “save the world.” I mean really “save the world,” not pick up litter or something on perhaps a slightly greater scale, like we usually mean when we say “save the planet.” (For those who don’t already know, I think, that for me those two things are different: saving the world vs. saving the planet.)

But, talk about crazy, how crazy is that? And especially when you recognize that what drives me is a Vision. A “Vision,” for god’s sake. Every time I think about how silly it is to rely on “the Vision” as a motivator–something I could convince myself of in a minute–I look at the facts again, and I think the Vision revealed the truth. It is too late!

Barb recently responded to one of these blog/e-mails on the forum under Buddha Bubba Raves at the website ( I really encourage you all to go there and pick up the conversation she is trying to start. My voice echoing in a room doesn’t help any of us. And, no matter who you think has the wisdom on these questions, they are the most important ones we face as a people. We need to talk to each other on these things. The forum is a great place to do that.

Anyway, her response points out one of the ways I look at things differently than most people. For me, there is no value, whatsoever, in pointing out that, if people would just start behaving differently, it all could be saved. That is, I think, what most people are actually saying when they say “there’s still time left.”

I just don’t see people changing their behaviors. Certainly not very many people.

Whoops, sorry, I was careless just then. What I don’t see is people changing their behaviors in ways that will help. I think when things start really running out, unless we’ve done substantial preparation for exactly that situation, people are going to start squabbling over the remains. Wars and genocides and conquering of territory and driving people off arable land is what I expect, not cooperation and recycling and cleaning up polluted water for the poor. It’s just going to get incredibly worse.

Another way I differ is that I see this as the impending death of everything on the planet, not just us. From there, the only option left is getting some remnant of life off this planet.

In some ways I’ve reached these conclusions in spite of how I first saw it–through years of research into what we do and don’t know about the global ecosystem. That we’ll not stop humans from being humans was a no brainer. But that we may and, in fact, quite likely will, make the planet totally uninhabitable is not, to this day, logically clear to me. But that it is possible most certainly is. From there, the logical conclusion is that, again, the Vision was right on–we’ve got to get some form of life off this planet to a safe spot.


Then the “responsible to the root of his soul” gene kicks in and I can’t stop doing everything I can think of to prevent it. It’s just too great a combination to resist: the Vision and the facts on the ground. I’ve got to try, to the best of my ability.

That’s the part most people will find hardest to believe, or at least, relate to: my utter sense of being compelled to do it. Maybe it’s the Vision that makes this such a gut level issue for me, but it’s the “responsibility gene” I got from an upbringing in a devote Southern Baptist home that drives me to do something about it. I can’t stop without renouncing everything I learned was important as a child.

When that train missed me in Beziers, I realized just how untrue to myself I had been to let 16 years pass with nothing to show for it. Whether what I’m doing is effective or not, how to improve on it, whether I should be settling for a more palatable message to give those new to my ideas, what projects we should do to heighten people’s awareness; these and a thousand other questions are what I most need help with (that and actually implementing the projects).

When I ask you to join with me, what I’m really asking is for your help in guiding me through this morass of “How do I tell the world my message in such a way they can hear it,” and “How do we get people started?”

Upstate New York is gorgeous, by the way. Next time I’ll try to lighten up.

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