Well, this post is scheduled for 12/13, so, by now, if I lost it on December 12th, you’ve probably already heard about it. I’m fairly convinced I’ve set it up well enough now that self-immolation is not on my plate for that day.
Still, I don’t know at the moment whether it might show up again at a later date.
One thing that became clear as my self-imposed deadline
of Dec. 12 approached was just how hard the actual act of
self-immolation is to take. Even if every other consideration were to urge such an act, there is no guarantee my courage will be up to the task.
In any case, it became clear to me that, if ever I were to do such a thing, I’d have to make public ahead of time the date, and give specific plans. Without that kind of pressure, I don’t think I’d be up to the task. I’m not up to that just now, for sure.
I do need to see some progress, no matter what else comes about. I have to set some goals and achieve something. Unfortunately, I’m not very sure what are the best
goals to set. My current take is that I need to finish my second
book. Perhaps best would be to join the first book with the second.
Perhaps even better would be getting an agent and soliciting their
I think I have to keep speaking, so signing up for climate ride makes a lot sense.
I also need to consider how my M.S. is playing out.
It’s really not clear that I’ll be able to do the climate ride again.
320 miles and five days on the road is no longer something I can just
assume I’ll be able to do. And I certainly have to give up the old
habit of thinking I can do things that used to be trivial, like
changing a tire. I have to start asking for help.
Help! Call me at 530.542.2579 or e-mail
firstname.lastname@example.org with “help” in the subject line. I’m looking for someone who could drive my dodge van (an automatic), help me with fixing flats, camp out on nice evenings and sleep on the floor in my van if its too cold or wet otherwise, and do sag vehicle work while I’m on the road. Five days would be a lot to ask, so shorter gigs may have to be worked out. The days of the ride are May 18 through May 23.
Alternatively, I could start a rolling hunger strike from campus to campus, insisting on public responses from experts on many of the questions which bother me most, such as what the upper limit is on temperatures which might result from climate change, or whether we might see global, earth encircling, windstorms (the rule on venus), or whether we should be concerned about the survival of Gaia, and, if not, why not.
This would also have the advantage of moving me off the hill in the middle of winter. It has the disadvantage of requiring quick response on my part.
Of course, a major obstacle for me has always been my scatteredness, so whether these latter two ideas are nothing but distractions from finishing the second book is worrisome.
I wish like hell that I’d really started addressing all this directly way back in 1986. There’d have been so much more time then.