Today I’m wallowing.
Wallowing in the hopelessness of the future.
Wallowing in the fact that I’m growing too old to accomplish any of he tasks set me when I first realized that we were not going to make it and had to get off.
Wallowing in the fact that my own grandchildren are almost certainly not going to be amongst those who get off, if any actually do.
Wallowing in the fact I didn’t get up and start working toward getting off on the day after I realized the inevitability of “we’re not going to make it’.”
Wallowing in the fact that I am a loner-that I never made alliances with others trying to really do something to save some remnant of life on earth.
Wallowing in the fact that I’ve not been up to the task
Wallowing in my inability to present a happy face for all to see.
Today I wallow.
Tomorrow, hopefully, I keep moving and stay focused.